Grandma’s in the Hospital

A couple years ago I received an email from my mom letting me know that my grandma was in the hospital. At over 70 years old, she appeared to have developed a life-threatening nut allergy that nearly killed her.

Luckily, she managed to reach my mom upstairs before collapsing, unable to breathe through her severely swollen airway. The paramedics injected her with an EpiPen, and luckily she regained consciousness.

This was the first of several attacks, most of which occurred after eating a meal at a restaurant that did not have any noticeable nuts. Each time it occurred, my mom would call the restaurant to ask if they used a peanut oil, or any other nut ingredients, and they all claimed not to.

Like thousands of others who suffer from severe nut allergies, my grandma now must wonder at every meal if she will need to go to the ER afterward.

The one way my grandma is fortunate is that she did not develop her allergy until later in life. The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America states that 6 million children have one or multiple food allergies today, and since there is no cure, will have to be extremely vigilant about what they eat for decades to come.

The goal of this post is to shed light onto how severe food allergies impact both the person with the allergy and their caregivers, whether they be a parent, an adult child, or a spouse. My hope is that this information will help increase compassion and patience for these families, as well as provide tips on how to seek and provide support.

The Research Says…

• Adolescents with a food allergy experienced increased anxiety and depression (2014)
• In one qualitative study, “parents often reported being treated as faddy, demanding, and neurotic, and children suffered from teasing and exclusion.” (2011)
• Another study explained that the, “experience of parenting a child with medically diagnosed severe food allergies is an experience of feeling unsupported in their effort to keep the child healthy and safe.” (2010)
• Food-allergic adults are prone to increased stress and social isolation (2014)
• 45.4% of surveyed food-allergic children were bullied, often with food-related threats, leading to increased anxiety and lower quality of life (2013)
• Only 50% of surveyed parents knew their child was being bullied (2013)
• 70% of surveyed caretakers of food-allergic children, “stated that mental health support would have been helpful, but only 23 percent sought it.” (2012)

Lesson #1: Caregivers of Food-Allergic Individuals Need Support

This Boston Globe article points out the skepticism caretakers deal with. The research I found for this article saddens me because it appears that many people are more concerned about their ability to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich than for a person’s life. If you know someone who is taking care of a food-allergic child or adult, don’t roll your eyes at them. Ask them how you can help make their day a little easier.

If you are the caretaker of a food-allergic individual, be sure to seek out support. Foodallergy.org has an extensive listing of support groups by region, which will link you with others who can identify with what you are going through.

And be sure to take care of yourself so you can be in the best mental and physical state possible for your loved one. Try not to ruminate and worry, and be aware of how uncertainty might be impacting your behaviors.

Lesson #2: If Someone Says They Have a Food Allergy, Believe Them

The repercussions of not taking someone seriously could be their life. Good ways to show support to a food allergy caretaker is to:

• Ask them what foods need to be taken out of the house, school, etc. and then actually get rid of them.
• Don’t use the ingredient, be it nuts, soy, dairy, or wheat at all. This will help both the food-allergic person and their caregiver feel less isolated from the rest of the group. Think of it as a way to get creative in the kitchen and discover new recipes that are safe for everyone involved.
• Remember, your pb&j is not as important as another person’s life.

Final Thoughts

Having a food allergy obviously impacts a person’s physical health, but its effects radiate out, influencing an individual’s mental health, and even the overall well-being of the immediate caregivers involved as well. So the next time you think “that mom” is being way too over-protective, just remember that she is making sure her child stays alive.

Do you have other suggestions about how to support a person with a food allergy or their caregivers? Share them in a comment below.

And please be sure to share this post with others who could benefit from learning more about what living with a food allergy is like!