Yesterday’s post described a simple method to increase your happiness by sending a daily gratitude list to others in your life.

Today, let’s talk about how our tendency to ruminate on the negative events that occur day to day can actually be harming our health and our relationships. But first, what’s rumination, and why is it so bad for us?

I can’t stop thinking about it…

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone, or received a bad review at work, or a low grade on a paper and you just couldn’t stop replaying the event over in your mind? Or maybe today you are uncertain about how something is going to turn out, so you mull it over trying to think of every possible scenario that could play out so you will be prepared?

Both of these are forms of rumination, and neither are good for you.

While Merriam-Webster define rumination as simply, “to think carefully and deeply about something,” psychology researchers describe it as repetitive negative thinking.

Ruminating on negative emotions and thoughts have been linked to depression, worry, intolerance for uncertainty, and anxiety; all negative psychological states that harm your health and your ability to have healthy relationships.

But there is always hope.

Luckily all is not lost, and studies have shown that heightened states of hopeful thinking can decrease the likelihood that rumination will lead to depression.

A manual on palliative care patient education defined hope as, “the capacity to embrace the reality of the individual’s suffering without escaping from it (false hope) or being suffocated by it (despair, helplessness, hopelessness).”

So similar to gratitude, hope helps you to balance the stinking thinking that can literally drive you crazy.

How to reduce your rumination.

By now I’m sure you’re thinking, “Well that’s great. But how do I stop ruminating and increase hope?” Here are two simple steps to get you started:

1. Recognize when you are ruminating.

Begin to pay more attention to your thoughts, especially at times when your mind can wander, like in the car or shower. And when you realize you have been ruminating on a thought, work to change the subject. And when your mind inevitably wanders back, be patient with yourself and change the subject again.

2. Tell yourself, “Yes, but…”

When you recognize you are ruminating on something negative, simply say, “yes, but…” and come up with a more positive alternative scenario that has just as much of a chance to occur.

For example, if you fear that you are going to lose your job, and constantly think about the event occurring, stop and tell yourself, “yes, that might happen, but there is also a chance that I could get a raise, or even find a better job with more security.”

In sum…

Rumination is a dangerous thought pattern that can be avoided with awareness and action. Keeping our minds open to potential positive outcomes can help lighten the mental load we carry around with us, making us happier people to be around.

Now it’s your turn. In the comments section, share one thing you have been ruminating on, and then list one potential positive outcome that will start to take the power out of that thought.

Take care!